Giving What You Cannot Keep

Read that. Let it sink in. Think about it and then keep reading. 

Ok, have you really thought about it? I can't stop thinking about it. Have I been a fool. I have. I know I have. I've tried to keep what I cannot keep, ignoring what I cannot lose. Jim Elliot, evangelical missionary, is said to be the author of these convicting words and he indeed lived by them, giving his life in an attempt to bring the gospel to a violet tribe in Ecuador. His life and his words challenge me. They haunt me. They make me think about every action, every moment of my day. 

I first heard these words at General Conference and I can't get them out of my mind. At first I only looked at them with regard to money as the quote was read right before a (RECORD BREAKING $4.3 MILLION) offering. I looked at it and I thought of the clothes, the shoes, the knick knacks, and the stuff I'd bought in attempt to keep my money, to sit it around me, to wear it, to enjoy it. Oh the fool I've been. I can't keep my money. It's not my money. It's God's money. I've given but not enough. Money is simply a tool. It's not something to collect or show off. It's a tool and how will I use it? I should use it for the things of God. It can be used to build churches, to support missionaries, to feed orphans, and so much more. Those things cannot be lost. They are of the Kingdom. They are eternal. That's how a wise me should spend my money.

Money. That's obvious. Then I thought longer. Time. Time is another thing I try to keep and use for my own purposes when instead I should give it. How much time do I spend on Facebook when I could read my Bible or another edifying book? How much time do I spend in my own busyness when I could be reaching out, telling other's about Jesus? How often do I want to just enjoy my dinner instead of taking time and making friends with the waitress and inviting her to church? Are my conversations frivolous or do I spend time encouraging my friends? How do I spend my time? It's not mine. It can't be kept. The clock just keeps ticking, ticking, ticking. But it can be used to gain the Kingdom, to reach souls with no price.

Money. Time. Those are easy. They're here, they're now, they're short term and simple to understand. Then I thought bigger. What will I do with my life? My career? Will they be used for Jesus or just to gain a paycheck? I want my life to be spent for Him, giving up me to show others Him. Life is but a vapor and can't be kept so why not give it for Him who has life eternal. 

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose."

Jim Elliot

For the Love of General Conference

Fall is my favorite time of year! It brings cooler weather, pumpkin everything, boots, tights, scarves, MY BIRTHDAY, and my favorite event of the year: General Conference. GC is my favorite event of the year and it's NEXT WEEK! I'm super pumped and so I'm going to dedicate a whole post to recounting some of the many reasons I love GC. And when I say I love GC I mean the following phrase will be uttered by my someday husband during his vows or the deal's off, "I promise to take Lana to General Conference every year so long as health and finances allow." I've only missed one so far in my my life and I don't plan on that number going up any time soon.

One of my favorite non spiritual parts of GC is getting to travel to various locations around North America. Just going to GC I've been to: Salt Lake City, UT; Louisville, KY; Milwaukee, WI; Des Moines, IA; San Antonio, TX; Detroit, MN; Greensboro, NC; Nashville, TN; Birmingham, AL; Phoenix, AZ; Toronto, ON; Richmond, VA; Columbus, OH; Tampa, FL; St. Louis, MO; and Houston, TX. It's so fun to get to explore new parts of the US and Canada while spending time with people of like, precious faith.

I also love the opportunity to hear and mingle with ministers I'd normally never have a chance to hear. I grew up getting to hear Bro. Urshan, Bro. Haney, Bro. Stoneking, Bro. Billy Cole, Bro. Steve Willoughby, Sis. Vesta Mangun, and so many others. What a heritage we have and what a great opportunity to hear some of the most anointed voices in Pentecost. Oh how I cherish these opportunities. How I cherish the hours and hours I've spent in the global missions section getting to chat and mingle with our missionaries -- my heroes! 

Another thing I love is getting to spend several days surrounded by THOUSANDS of apostolic believers. It's so fun to walk down the street and be greeted by "strangers" who are our brothers and sisters in Christ! "Praise the Lord" is a common greeting around town all throughout conference. I'm always amazed at conference by how friendly everyone is. Often I find myself chatting with strangers as if I've known them my whole life. It's such a place of unity and kindred spirits. It's amazing to join together and worship with so many fellow believers! I remember in Florida being on a trolley and having a sing along of several hymnal songs with everyone on the trolley. And yes we sang page 369 if you know what that is!

It's also amazing what an explosive atmosphere there is at GC. When people gather together in unity powerful things happen. One of the most life changing evenings of my life occurred in Columbus, OH in 2006. Thanks to unity and many months of work there was a powerful crusade service on Sunday night wherein over 1000 people received the gift of the Holy Ghost in one service here in the United States. Did I see every one of those people receive it myself? No, but I prayed with several who received it in the balcony! We like to say that things like that only happen over seas, that America is too hard, but Columbus, OH proved to many that if we work together it can happen here too so we should go ahead and dream big! If we dream big, God will do big things!

I could ramble on further but I won't. Please, comment with your favorite conference memory and let me know if you're going to St. Louis next week! Hope to see you there!!

Potential and Purpose

We've been having revival with Rev. Tim Hadden the last few weeks and it's been amazing! He mentioned something in one of his sermons that hit me in the heart and I can't stop thinking about it. It wasn't even his main point but it's something to think about. Rev. Hadden was preaching and teaching on the purpose of light and was addressing the point that EVERYTHING God creates has a purpose. That includes you and me, not just the plants and animals. 

Not only does God create things with purpose; He expects His creations to fulfill their potential. If you look at the parable of the fig tree in Luke 13 God obviously has no use for the fig tree if it's not going to produce. I got to thinking about that and can't get away from it. What if I'm not fulfilling my potential? What if I'm not living up to my purpose? Will I be cut down? If you look at the parable of the talents in Matthew 25 it's plain that God expects His servants to fulfill their potential. His words for the servant who didn't use his talents were especially harsh. The servant who buried his talents was called a "wicked and slothful servant" (Matthew 25:25). God help me not to be that "wicked and slothful servant." So I challenge you today to take stock of your life and evaluate what God has given you, what your purpose is and if you're fulfilling it because I personally want to be called a "good and faithful servant" and I'm sure you do too!! Join me. Let's make sure we fulfill our purpose for the Kingdom!

One Hair-Raising Anniversary

One year ago today my life changed when the life of one of my dearest friends was drastically altered. Like the sisters we are we both went on AYC trips last summer, her to the Dominican Republic and me to Peru, however her trip ended a bit differently than mine.

Every AYC trip includes a bit of time for fun and for the DR trip that fun included go-cart racing. Wednesday afternoon, July 3, 2013 Milla got on a go-cart just like she had plenty of other times in her life. She fastened her seatbelt, checked that her hair was secure and then smiled for the camera.

And with that the race was on and Milla raced towards something she never imagined...

Somewhere on that course her carefully bound up hair, her beautiful, knee-length, thick, lustrous glory, came tumbling down and every Apostolic woman's worst nightmare occurred. That glorious hair got caught in the moving parts of the go cart and was ripped from her head taking the majority of her scalp with it.

I remember when I found out. I called our other "sisters" and we cried and cried and cried for Milla and for the loss of her beautiful hair. I'll be honest. I questioned how God could let that happen. Her beautiful hair! Her glory! Her scalp! How? Why? Oh how I questioned, but at the time I didn't know the whole story. All I could see was this:

And so I prayed, and I cried and I did what I could to help: meeting her at the airport, holding her hand and praying.

Only over time would I see the full picture. You see God allowed this to happen but He also had a plan for it. He knows the end from the beginning and had prepared her for that moment from her birth. Some of these preparations were minor in the scheme of life and others had seemed like problems up until this point while others were a result of a lifetime of labor by her, but all of these things worked together to keep her safe.

Something Milla had complained to me about over the years was her neck. It's thick and in her eyes not very graceful or feminine, but God made that neck with July 3rd, 2013 in mind. Her thick muscular neck may not have looked God to her over the years but as unspeakable force was applied to it and her scalp was ripped from her head that neck stood firm protecting her from a broken neck, paralysis or even death.

The preparations went deeper still though. God prepared her all the way to her blood. My sweet Milla's blood has too many platelets. Platelets are important but with too many you're faced with severe headaches if you become dehydrated and a you face a higher risk of blood clots as platelets are the part of the blood that helps it clot. Normally you don't want your blood to clot but if you've sustained a massive head trauma clotting is exactly what you want and exactly what normally doesn't happen. Head injuries bleed like no other but with Milla's excessive platelets the blood was able to clot and the bleeding was slowed enough that she didn't bleed to death on that race course.

Further preparing Milla for July 3rd, 2013 was her many years of Bible quizzing. As she struggled to stay conscious en route to the hospital it was the years of quizzing that kept her going as she quoted verses and  sang to keep herself alert and conscious. God prepared her in many ways for that day and her years of living for Him prepared her as well. He provided her with peace in the midst of everything as well, allowing her to rest in the knowledge that He was not punishing her and it was not her fault but simply some piece of a bigger picture. Milla easily could have died that day in the Dominican but she didn't because God had a plan. No matter how horrible the storm you're facing is always know that He is in control and He has prepared you for the storm and will see you through.

Milla's hair hasn't grown back yet, in case you're wondering but I know God has a reason. So for now she's wearing adorable pig tails from the part that didn't get pulled out and trusting God and sharing His great protection everywhere she goes. 

I don't know how the story's going to end for Milla but I'm so glad that God had planned all along for July 3rd, 2013. Happy Anniversary of living and thriving Milla. I hope you make it back to the DR some day!! 

Holiness: Love for my Beloved

Do you ever wear pants? Can you cut your hair? Can you wear makeup? Why don't you wear jewelry? Never ending questions, day after day after day they ask with curiosity and sometimes scorn. And day after day my answers surprise them when I tell them yes I can wear pants, jewelry or make up and yes I can cut my hair. They often laugh when I tell them I can but I choose not too as they assume I'm simply brainwashed into believing it's my own choice. I can do any thing they might ask I am after all physically capable of doing so however out of love for my King I choose not to. It's all a choice. The real question is why I make that choice. 

Why? That's the question I love to answer. Ask me why I do or don't do anything with regard to modesty or holiness and the answer is always the same. I love Jesus and so I choose to dress or act in ways that show my love for Him. You see, we are the Bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:25-27) and when a bride loves her husband it is her desire to please him. On that most basic level it is my desire that Jesus be pleased with me and so I live and dress in a way that I hope will be pleasing to Him. Holiness is an outward expression of my inward love for Jesus. It's an expression of my desire to please Him and furthermore to be like Him. 

There's an interesting phenomenon that occurs when a couple has been together for long enough. The more time they spend together the more alike they become. I rememberwhen I was dating my first boyfriend I started picking up habits and likes and dislikes from him. For a simple example I used to hate sausage pizza. After a while though his favorite became my favorite and I still like sausage pizza years later. The same is true with our relationship with Christ. The more time we spend together the more alike we become. Our likes and dislikes become the same. Our desires become the same. We become alike. 

However there is a key difference in this relationship. In my relationship with Christ only one of us can change and that's me. In Malachi 3:6 He declared that He is The Lord and He changes not! Scripture is clear that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. So if He does not change and is always the same then there is only one way that we can become alike. I have to be the one that changes. I have to become like Him. For us to be like a long married couple becoming alike over time then I must change. I must become like Him. And if I am going to be like Him then I must know what He is like. 

There are many good words that can be used to describe The Lord: loving, powerful, wonderful, omniscient, the list could go on for all eternity. However there is one trait that stands out. The angels cry out one word to describe Him: holy. Of all the things God is his holiness is one of the most oft mentioned. The angels cry out "holy, holy, holy" and as Sproul put it “The Bible says that God is holy, holy, holy. Not that He is merely holy, or even holy, holy. He is holy, holy, holy. The Bible never says that God is love, love, love, or mercy, mercy, mercy, or wrath, wrath, wrath, or justice, justice, justice. It does say that He is holy, holy, holy, the whole earth is full of His glory.” And so if I'm going to become like Him that means I must become holy. In His word He even tells to be "holy for [He] is holy" (1 Peter 1:15). So the more time I spend with Him, and the more like Him I become then the more holy I become. 

And so because I love Him I do what I know will please Him. Because I love Him I spend time with Him. And when I spend time with Him I become like Him. And to be like Him is to be holy, to act holy, and to live holy. I don't dress like I do because of rules. I don't dress like I do or act like I do because a man told me to. And contrary to one popular opinion I don't dress like I do to protect the men from their own lustful ways (another post for another day). I dress and act like I do because I love Jesus and I want to please Him and be like Him. "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" (Song of Solomon 3:6) and I want to make my Beloved happy and I want to be like Hm. And so I do all things, not even just the outwardly obvious things like clothing, with a desire to please Him because I love Him. So when you want to know why I do something there is a simple one word answer: LOVE. 

This was written as an answer to an assignment by my pastor to the young people and college and career as part of a series he is teaching. To listen to that series or any other sermon from our church click here. If you attend my church and have read this whole thing I apologize as you'll be hearing it again on Wednesday night. 

The Powerful Potential of Plastic Chairs

Chairs before service in the last church we visited in Lima, Peru

You've all seen them -- plastic garden chairs, the seemingly official seating choice of churches on the "foreign" field. You'll find them in churches large and churches small, though why I've never known. Why those chairs in particular? Why not pews, even the most basic wooden bench, they can't be that expensive, says my American brain?

But there's a flaw in my American brain. My brain likes clean, neat spaces, rows that don't get messed up, and easily determined seating capacities. My brain thinks inside the box.

Outside the box is found the answer. Plastic chairs allow you to start with 50 chairs for those you know will show but when God shows up and 100s more arrive you can add more rows until you reach the door. When there are more people than chairs you put them up and stand -- allowing more people in God's house. When the sermon has ended and the people gather eagerly to pray you can get them out of the way -- allowing all to gather at the altar without the limiting confines of immobile pews creating an arbitrary size limit on the altar area.

Plastic chairs take the limits off. Plastic chairs are full of potential.

Lord help me to take the limits off. Help me think outside the box.

Our Song

Our song -- every couple has one -- that special song that makes you think of the other person. Maybe it's the song you heard on your first date. Maybe it's a song that tells a story similar to your own. Maybe it's just a song you both like. It gives you goose bumps to hear it and leaves you soft and sentimental, maybe a little misty eyed. It's a different song for everyone, but that's what makes it special. 

Right now I don't just have one song that's "our song." There's several. And they change often. But there's always at least one -- special to where our relationship is right now. There's always at least one song, usually several that make my heart skip a bit and my eyes mist. But these aren't songs that bring to mind a special person. No these are songs that make my heart flip thinking of my dearest love, the one who laid it all down for me, the lover of my soul, my one and only savior, Jesus.

Right now these are our songs, songs that make me stop anything I'm doing and cry in thanks, songs that make me feel His love, songs that remind me of all He's done and all I get to do.

Closer

"What Can I Do?"

You Are Holy

Victor's Crown

So, those are "our songs" right now. What are some of yours? Maybe I'll find another one to add to my list. Keep worshipping my friends. Keep communing with Him. And when you find that song that makes you stop and pray no matter what you're supposed to be doing listen to it often!

New Year

A new year. A fresh start. A blank slate there for writing on. A chance to improve and put the failures of the past behind. This day is so full of promise. The world is full of people with zeal for changes and self improvement. A month from now most have failed but that doesn't have to be you -- or me. 2014 can be different. 

2013 was an interesting year full of many highs but not all I would have wanted it to be. It was a year of triumphs and tears. A year in which I moved forward in many ways and found myself lacking in others. But today is a new day. A day to go higher. A day to go further. A day to do all He asks me to do. So this year I have one word on my heart: Faithful. A reminder that He is always faithful and a reminder to myself to be faithful in the small things that are easy to forget. Faithful.

This year I'm not posting my resolutions publicly but I will say I've taken steps to ensure they go beyond today -- at least the truly important ones. Step 1 is accountability. I'm working together with friends on some of the same things to make sure we keep each other on target. Step 2 is making the goals manageable -- each month has it's own goal -- often to be determined by the previous month's success. Don't let 2014 be another year wasted. Go. Do. Create. Make it great. It's a whole new year with 365 days to use for His glory!